Real joy, humility, and looking

"...real joy consists of knowing that human wisdom counts less than the shimmer of beeches in a breeze. As certain as the weather coming from the west, the things that people know for sure will change. There is no knowing for a fact. The only dependable things in life are humility and looking."

- Richard Powers, The Overstory

In the Notes app of my phone I have a spot where I keep little nuggets of wisdom that I read/hear in books, articles, podcasts, textbooks, etc. I like to look through it now and again when I need a little reminder or motivation or even a reality-check-wake-up-call. The funny thing about words is that they mean different things to different people. My connection to and understanding of the sentences and paragraphs I have stowed in that little note on my phone are a reflection of my own experiences and perspectives--perhaps more particularly the experience that I was having when I first read/heard the words.

One of the quotes is from "The Overstory", a Richard Powers novel that I'd recommend to anyone who likes climate fiction, has a love for trees, or enjoys reading in general. I can remember tabbing down this page when I first read it--not having my phone within reach--then taking a picture of the passage later as I was on my way out the door, and finally typing it out into my note for safekeeping. Powers writes "...real joy consists of knowing that human wisdom counts less than the shimmer of beeches in a breeze. As certain as the weather coming from the west, the things that people know for sure will change. There is no knowing for a fact. The only dependable things in life are humility and looking."

The quote particularly struck me as I read it while looking towards the conclusion of my academic career--a world in which many things are taught to be "for a fact". It was also a time when I was confronting post-grad decisions; in stark contrast to my what my 16 years of schooling had conditioned me to believe, the post-grad world seemed to have no definitive "right" or "wrong", very little "for a facts". While this new world looked daunting and at times felt anxiety-inducing, it also offered me a novel feeling of freedom and an acute sense of relief. The words of Richard Powers offered the permission I craved to reach beyond the definitive paths I saw laid out as "shoulds" because, in reality, there is no predetermined track one should follow through life. Powers suggests that joy is found when we recognize that everything is subject to change. If everything is changing, how can I believe that there is only one correct way to live? If everything is changing, aren't I meant to change too?

My decision to spend a year with Jesuit Volunteer Corps Northwest was a deliberate choice to subject myself to change. I think we're all subjecting ourselves to a type of change through graduating from college and moving into the next phase of our lives. I was pushed outside of my comfort zone at BC and, tough as it was, I'm proud of the personal growth I found because of it. With this new transition I'm seeking out even bigger challenges with the hope of finding even more room for learning and growing. And amidst it all I'm leaning on what dependable things we have: humility and looking.

Humility: I'm not spending a year in service because I think I can change the world. I'm spending a year in service because I think that I still have a lot left to learn. My hope is to give of myself to others through my work, but I believe that I will be receiving from them, too. My goal is to create relationships based on companionship and mutual respect, where both sides benefit. I'm also striving to learn the balance between being confident in myself and remembering not to take myself too seriously. I think true humility is found somewhere in between.

Looking: To the best of my ability, I will focus my energy on being present. I know there is a lot to be learned from the new people and places that will surround me. But that learning will first require looking. For me, simply looking often becomes an exercise in gratitude; the times when I actually stop and look around is when I realize how much there is to appreciate.

I've been favoring plant and natural associations lately ("The Overstory" is essentially a novel about trees), which feels very apropos given my new surroundings in the Pacific Northwest. Consider this upcoming year an extension of my becoming, my blooming, into the type of human I want to be.

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Shop The Overstory by Richard Powers at Powell's City of Books